Sunday 4 January 2009

2008 has ended

2008 has been and gone, which means we are another year closer to the future... if  by definition the future is being able to state the year is "twenty-ten". Flying cars are surely just around the corner.

Left 4 Dead

We're in a forest.

Bert and Andrew run ahead, seemingly attached at the hip - it's a tactical relationship. Bert is crawling in the undergrowth wielding a shotgun, Andrew has his back with an Uzi resting over his shoulders. They're a two tier zombie killing unit. They appear unbreakable. I'm wandering in tow, a pistol in hand and a rifle at my side. I'm not sure what happened to CaLIGurlxx69. She left the group, stole some pain pills and ran into a horde. No loss.

Bert and Andrew run through the trees to a large barn. They waste no time in dispatching every undead creature along the way. They appear unbreakable. I follow cautiously behind feeling somewhat vulnerable relying on my sidearm as my primary form of self defence. We tentatively creep between the large barn doors and make our way inside - they check the corners for zeds, I grab a Molotov from the table and make my way to the roof. I've left them.

They shout up to me to follow as they take cover behind a cow carcass. I train my sights up ahead of them and tell them I know what I'm doing. I focus on the trees ahead and wait for the call of the horde. I don't have to wait long.

Bert runs to the trees. He thinks he can hear a Hunter. Andrew keeps to his position. They are broken. Bert isn't quick enough - he's on his back firing pistols into the woods. Andrew runs to help. Here comes the horde.

I make my shots count. One headshot. Two headshot. I'm on form. Three headshot. Miss. I hear a cough. I pull out my pistol and pirouette towards the origin of the sound - too late. I'm being pulled along the roof, each ounce of my life is being squeezed out of me by the Smoker's tongue. Then comes the croak of the Boomer - I'm shouting to Bert and Andrew. They have their own problems. The Boomer vomits on me. My problems just got worse. My own personal horde.

RIP Aneurexorcyst

There is no "I" in "team"

1985-2008

Peerless in it's execution, Left 4 Dead continues to deliver this level of drama after multiple plays, and the director keeps the gameplay varied. How long this varied gameplay will continue remains to be seen - if a level is hammered at a hard difficulty a lot of patterns begin to emerge...

However L4D (as the kids call it) offers an indistinguishable experience between PC and Xbox 360, something very few developers manage to do.

It's a first person shooter.

By Valve.

With Zombies.

Buy it.

"Last Caress" by "The Misfits"

Twitter

I can now update people of the world of my bowel movements should they choose to follow me. It's amazing. Join up and follow me. You like the 20-30 others who follow me will know when I am taking a shit.

My twitter: http://twitter.com/SeanNoonan

Wheelman