Randomly Accessed Memoirs | The Blog of Sean Noonan, Video Game Designer

Stories from Black Mesa: Opposing Force & Blue Shift

2012-01-29T13:37:00.000Z

If you'd asked me several years ago what my favourite shooter was I’d have probably answered, “Half-Life… well, actually the first add on pack, Opposing Force”, and sometimes I’d blaspheme further by suggesting that “Gearbox understand fun and pacing better than Valve”.

…but obviously those are rather unfair and perhaps uniformed statements. Valve created Half-Life, which bore the core mechanics, technology, characters, story and world which Gearbox then added to and expanded upon.

Opposing Force

I was always a fan of Opposing Force - I enjoyed the different point of view of the scenario that Half-Life offered and preferred its campaign length and pacing. It enriched the universe and helped the connect the player to Black Mesa and it’s characters in the same way a TV series’ can grab people based upon it’s location or character offerings.

Maybe this is why Valve tried to take Half-Life 2 episodic?

It could have worked….

You played as Adrian Sheppard, a soldier and survivor of the Black Mesa accident, exploring the research facility after the fact. The cross over points are handled well, you'll see Gordon jumping into the Xen portal as Sheppard, and witness the aftermath of Gordon’s handiwork throughout the campaign. All the nods and winks tie together nicely.

Going back, it's held up pretty well; some excellent combat set pieces, particularly when first facing the black ops soldiers - good enemy positioning and an old school large enemy count far exceeding the numbers found in half-life.

There were some old school issues, such as the frankly unforgiveable sections where health must be lost to continue past a point - possibly ending the game for poorer players who play with only one save.
I got stuck in a few places due to some poor brush work in some of the rougher jumping puzzles/secrets causing me to have to reload my game in one instance.
The squad scripted sequences were a little bit pointless, but back in 1999 this was probably pretty innovative, and it does further the simple Scientist and Barney interaction of Half-Life.
Also, what’s with holding down the crowbar button immediately firing when the weapon changes? Button debouncing clearly wasn’t thought about back then - it’s pretty annoying when you’re crunching your wrench through a bunch of crates, picking up a Laser Tripmine then immediately placing it, obviously causing player death shortly after. Grrr.
Almost as annoying as the Head Crabs in dark vent sections… something which never gets old. /sarcasm

All of these issues are made up by the fact that Opposing Force is free of Xen levels and the latter half of the game puts the player up against new enemies, the inhabitants of “DIMENSION X”! They’re a fun bunch to fight against, even if their visual aesthetic looks a bit dated. On top of that, the new weapons were pretty good; a Sniper Rifle and Heavy Machine Gun (a weapon I used for almost exclusively for the latter portion of the game). I wasn't the huge fan of the game’s take on the BFG9000, but then uber weapons have always been a hard thing to get right – Gearbox aren’t the first to fall at this hurdle. The portable Barnacle was quite cool if a little underused. The two Dimension X weapons were forgettable, one the equivalent of the Hornet Gun was average at best (along with being annoying as a sentient creature in the world) and the other being a take on an alien rocket launcher.

Opposing Force closes with the possibility of a sequel, and the way the G Man frames it, Sheppard could end up anywhere - it's unlikely that gearbox will visit this franchise again, so I'll pretend that I'm playing as Sheppard in Prey 2 (a route I could picture an Opposing Force sequel taking).

If Gearbox made an actual sequel I would buy it. Twice.

Blue Shift

As I understand it, Blue Shift started out as a campaign to accompany the Dreamcast version of Half-Life – this was later canned and released as a PC expansion (that happened to not require the original Half-Life to play). The canned Dreamcast title featured high definition models which were available as replacement pack which updated Half-Life’s ageing character and weapon models (which is something I had enabled whilst playing Opposing Force). I didn’t play Blue Shift back when it was released – I had moved onto Halo and left the PC behind, so I didn’t have the familiarity or nostalgia I had when going back to play Half-Life, Decay or Opposing Force.

In Blue Shift you take up the role as Barney – who is now a named character rather than a generic copy paste character. The story is weaker than the other expansions and puts you in the shoes of the security worker who is late and locked out of a security door, who just happens to be seen by an on looking Gordon Freeman on the start of his adventure in the original Half-Life (you also get to see one of the Half-Life: Decay player characters on CCTV). It’s a bit of a push and not handled as subtly as Opposing Force – and that sums up the overall experience. It’s not as tightly put together or polished as Opposing Force. It feels slightly rushed and that Gearbox were maybe trying to do more than the engine would realistically (read: reliably) allow.

Sure - it was refreshing to be taking on the soldiers once again, the Dimension X and Black Ops enemies started to bore me by the end of Opposing Force, but Blue Shift is also a lot shorter, and not in a good way. The brief length just highlights the annoyances.

Dodgy scripting being the prime concern. It wasn’t unusual to get stuck in an elevator and have to rely on a previous save to continue progress, or having to push AI characters (usually Dr Rosenberg) into correct spots to trigger events - it's rough.

On top of that there are annoying gameplay issues - enemies in loading corridors, really? Turrets around blind corners, are you serious? And they have the silent protagonist talking, by that I mean people responding to an imaginary voice you only have to assume is coming from the player – not that you actually hear anything… oh, and you go to Xen.

However it was nice to see some pre Half-Life 2 physics puzzles even if there was a lack of any other scripted sequences or interaction.

I’d find it hard to recommend going back to play Blue Shift for anything other than completion sake.

Beyond…

Pointless bloggery, won’t be doing that again in a hurry – will probably post a response to the new year at some point.

I’m currently playing Half-Life 2, Bully and Final Fantasy XIII.

Holiday, etc.

2011-11-02T13:37:00.000Z

Walk to Edinburgh Station

Train to Sheffield

Sleep

Train to Manchester

Flight to Prague

Sleep

Walk around Prague

Sleep

Train to Berlin

Sleep

Walk around Berlin

Sleep

Train to Prague

Flight to Manchester

Train to Sheffield

Sleep

Train to Edinburgh Station

Taxi from Edinburgh Station

Sleep

etc…

A very Nazi weekend

2011-07-31T13:37:00.000+01:00

This weekend my media consuming habits were invaded by Nazis.

Firstly by Steam’s free weekend of Dino D-Day, a poor man’s Day of Defeat with the welcome (?) addition of Nazi dinosaurs. I dismissed this sometime ago after watching Giant Bomb’s Quick Look at the title but you can’t argue with free.

…or maybe you can, time is debatably more important than money. Besides the fact that there only appears to be one map (or at least one that anybody plays) the game is completely weighted towards the Nazis. Why would anyone choose Allies when they are limited to generic human classes whereas Nazi’s may play as those same classes alongside a multitude of dinosaur classes, including a T-Rex which very much riffs on Left 4 Dead’s Tank character. Servers are always stacked on the Nazi side - in my eyes it’s just broken. Allies could have been provided vehicles or power armour or something to even the odds. In this latest release they are given a “dino reject” and somewhere I read it was possible to play as a machine gun goat, though I never saw this with my own eyes.

I’m not sure how packed servers will be any time after this free weekend is up, as the game relies on it’s absurdity to garner any attention.

Play as a Dilophasaurus and toss goats through the air with your powerful jaws
Play as a T-Rex and Gun down countless allied threats with twin machine guns
Cock your leg and urinate on your prey for no reason whatsoever
Play as a woman in a team based online shooter

Unfortunately none of these points really interested me very much, any entertainment had was from the fact that it was a multiplayer game involving other people, where one can be fighting beside someone called “WankFactory” or see the term “T-Rex needs ammo” typed into a chat window.

I wouldn’t advise picking this up unless you can get in on the free weekend or find it heavily discounted.

Later I watched Dead Snow, a film featuring waves of Nazi undead running about the snow capped mountains of Norway.

Nothing new, a bunch of kids go up to a cabin in the mountains and get harassed by an unknown terror – in this case gold seeking Nazi Zombies. Some great moments of tension towards the start and a fair few smiles were had. It was rather low on the laughs although there were some particularly amusing gory deaths and the Zombie makeup was as gruesome as it was inventive.

Ein Zwei Die!

Give it a watch.

And finally someone on Twitter linked to a relatively new trailer to the upcoming sci-fi comedy, Iron Sky. It looks somewhat entertaining…

Provided there’s no slapstick or other such cringe-worthy comedy I’ll be all over that, supposedly there’s a game planned to support the release also.

Also, Monday bank holiday!

Stories from Black Mesa: Decay

2011-07-17T13:37:00.000+01:00

Since the start of 2011 I’ve been plugging away at the original Half-Life and it’s various expansion packs (I finished the original Half-Life back in January). They’re either compelling, or I’m a masochist, but either way I’ve managed to get through the entire of the Half-Life anthology including the previously unreleased Half-Life: Decay.

Decay was originally an exclusive expansion as part of the Playstation 2 port of Half-Life, something I remember meddling with but to no real end due to a lack of interest in first person shooters using a controller - my, how times change. Decay was a split screen co-operative experience on the PS2 and put players in the roles of Gina Cross and Colette Green, scientists working at the Black Mesa Research Facility during the events of the original Half-Life. Eagle eyed franchise fans will note that Gina Cross is in fact the hologram from the Hazard Training Course in the original Half-Life (though her character model was updated somewhat for this outing).

Now of course I didn’t play the PS2 version of Decay for my most recent play though, instead I downloaded the network enabled PC version which was ported by Ukrainian developers, Vyacheslav Dzhura and Denis Zhatov (this can be downloaded for free here).

Decay is quick to the finish, most likely down to it’s single level format. Players move from level to level via menu rather than in one continuous sequence. Players are tasked with helping a wheelchair-bound Doctor Keller and Doctor Rosenberg (also seen in Half-Life: Blue Shift) by solving co-op puzzles that loosely tie into the events of the original Half-Life, eventually forming a narrative in it’s own right, though not a particularly strong one - though I give bonus points for omitting any levels set in Xen.

In solo play the player has to swap between the two characters with a key press, an action passable through the early portions of the game, but some of the later puzzles and combat sections provided more challenge than they needed to. One puzzle of note (because it seemed rather rough in implementation) involved one player having to crouch jump on the head of another player to access an overhead vent – rather frustrating when you have to rapidly switch between players mid manoeuvre. It’s a rough looking game, and I’m sure the fact that this is a port is a contributing factor. The overall low production quality was offset by the welcome increase of speaking, named characters, whom provided guidance and narrative throughout - with the exception of the annoying wheelchair-bound Doctor Keller who often got stuck during scripted sequences requiring the player to restart the level (particularly the final level of the game – very buggy, very annoying).

Upon completion players are treated access to a short standalone level known as “Xen Attacks”. Here, players take control of the green-electric throwing Vortigaunts. Their goal is to retrieve Xen crystals similar to those provided by Decay’s protagonists, Cross and Green for Freeman’s Resonance Cascade in the original Half-Life – it’s a loose way to tie the story together for a mission that translates simply to “kill a bunch of Marine bastards”. It’s a fleeting scenario, but a fun little extra for those who manage to finish the standard game and provides a vocal cameo from the Nihilanth, Half-Life’s primary antagonist.

Overall I enjoyed Decay – sure it’s rough and it’s not a patch on Half-Life or it’s other expansions but it’s another excuse to go back to Black Mesa and see the events of Half-Life from a different point of view, and for free, you can’t argue with that.

Rock Paper Shotgun wrote a little somethin’ somethin’ about it here, and for those that missed it, Half-Life: Decay can be downloaded for free, here. There’s also an apparent remake in the works – who knows if it will ever see the light of day. Check that out here.

I think I will save my waffling about Opposing Force and Blue Shift for another day – I have work to do!

The Broken Record

2011-05-01T13:37:00.000+01:00

The iPhone. I realise I don’t shut the fuck up about the damn thing and I’m aware how dull/dry my recent blog post about Dead Space was, but I can’t stop spending my disposable cash in dribs and drabs picking up new apps on the app store. These mini pieces of compelling gameplay are generally short lived but they’re bloody fun while they last.

Recently Nintendo President Satoru Iwata had a bit of a moan about how games are being devalued by mobile and social gaming… and to some extent he’s right, but it’s not entirely a bad thing. Nintendo probably can’t put out smaller, simpler games like Angry Birds for £29.99 on their handheld platforms, and nor should they – it’s a bit of a rip off. Instead they’re going to have to focus on larger budget, content heavy titles that provide the value that kinda price tag demands. With EA, Epic and id Software (to name a few) putting out higher budget apps still for a lower price than anything on Nintendo handhelds it’s no wonder Nintendo are a little bit miffed.

Here’s a couple of example games I may have bought for £29.99 on the Nintendo DS in the past, but have instead picked them up on iPhone for the price of a packet of Pickled Onion Monster Munch, a Chomp, and a can of Coke Zero…

Game Dev Story has done the rounds on various blogs and podcasts with many being critical of it's accuracy (shut up, you little children). It's a light hearted simulation of the games industry with gameplay in the sane vein as Theme Park (that's a good thing). The presentation is top notch, with cute character sprites and amusing animations. Unfortunately the music is annoying and repetitive but easy to redeem with a podcast of your choice (may I suggest Game Wank, sir?). The controls have been shoe horned onto the iPhone from a (presumably) 4:3 platform with buttons, but its still relatively easy to navigate through the various menus and the control method suits the somewhat passive experience. Gameplay consists of matching genres and themes for a desired game and deciding how to put it out; to push technology, high budget blockbuster, or quick and cheap. Then it’s a matter of naming your game (one of the more fun elements) and seeing how it sells when it hits the public domain.

As fun as the game begins, it's over all too fast. Progress is limited, and like most sim games of this ilk, a player’s success is their own worst enemy - once a player becomes a success it's simply a process of clicking next and submitting to the sequel grind, you'll find as soon as you start developing a console and hired Cokie Bottleson (if you can afford her), you've seen it all.

I have to praise the quick and easy saving system. Autosaves are a welcome addition for when people call and interrupt the game (iPhone gamers shouldn't be punished for being popular).

A brief but intense addiction. Pick it up if you want a whirlwind romance.

Next up another sim, Civilization Revolution. I was lucky enough to pick this up for free, though I wouldn't have felt too bad paying for it. Much like Game Dev Story the gameplay is fast and progress is swift. There are multiple completion goals available that roll around quick enough to avoid a grind or the infinite success loops experienced in Sim City or the aforementioned Game Dev Story.

It’s the same format as the previous Sid Meier games – a turn based strategy game, where you build a massive empire and wipe out everyone else like some kinda xenophobic bastard (at least that’s how I play)…

The visuals are rather crude and the sounds are really irritating - again, why not listen to some Game Wank?

It’s a scaled back port, but you should still pick it up if you enjoy it’s PC forefathers or perhaps see it cheap on the app store.

Next up something a bit more reaction heavy, Canabalt. Simply tap the screen to make the constantly running man jump over obstacles, through windows and over gaps in a city under attack by giant robots. The pixelated character is well animated and the highly detailed pixel art backdrops look amazing. It's backed by an awesome soundtrack by Danny B (download some of his tracks here and here).

It's worth picking up if you want a simple pretty game to burn away some time...

Available for free on PC and at a small price for iPhone.

Fruit Ninja is another game with very basic input. Simply swipe your chubby digits across the various pieces of fruit that are being tossed across the screen - just avoid the bombs (if you hit one of these it's Game Over). It's simple but very rewarding and the developers have been supporting the title with new game modes as part of various free updates.

Pick this up, it's great value for money. It’s most definitely my favourite toilet game.

If anyone wants to give it a go, my Game Center name is SeanNoonan. Add me.

...and I’ve got a feeling I’m about to start another whirlwind romance, Kairosoft, the makers of Game Dev Story have recently put out Hot Springs Story…

Oh dear.

Ruffian Updates

2011-04-17T13:37:00.000+01:00

At long last I have a reliable Internet connection so can freely blog once more - no longer do I have to take awkward lengthy trips to Starbucks to abuse their free Wi-Fi (love you guys).

Anyway, some updates of where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing (other than playing iPhone games, of course)…

In December I began working on various level designs for an unannounced title at Ruffian Games
In January I was promoted to Lead Level Designer at Ruffian Games
In February I moved to a new abode in Edinburgh
In March I started work on a small prototype at Ruffian Games
In April I turned 26

…and that’s about it. I can’t really elaborate on anything right now. Maybe something soon.

/vague

We updated the Ruffian Games website! Keep an eye out for future updates (hint hint).

Check it out here: http://www.ruffiangames.com/

Fellow Ruffian, James Cope and my good self had a few words to say in the latest edition of Edge (April 12, Issue 227) regarding the trend for multiplayer in AAA games and whether pure single player games have a future.

Pick it up from all good UK newsagents (of which there seem to be very few in Edinburgh – I have yet to find a copy).

And yes, I know the picture they used of me looks bloody awful.

iPhone Dead Space

2011-04-03T13:37:00.000+01:00

So I recently finished Dead Space, but not the original nor the newly released sequel, “Dead Space 2”. Instead I’ve been playing Dead Space for iPhone, and bloody good it is too.

From the outset the player is bombarded by polish and flashy production values from their menus to their (annoyingly) unskippable opening cutscene. It rivals Infinity Blade for sure (another title I’ve been recently plugging during those toilet gaming moments). Both EA and Epic have proven that AAA (or should we call it AA..?) is viable on iPhone, both titles raked in a nice amount of cash upon initial release and provide small instalments of cash thanks to in game DLC support…

Anyway….

Where was I?

Following the intro the game begins with your character (known as Vandal) in the familiar space mining armour from a surprisingly familiar viewpoint. Like it’s namesake the iPhone iteration shares the Resident Evil 4-esque over the shoulder camera and laser dot aiming with control coming courtesy of two invisible movement/look sticks placed wherever your thumbs lie on the screen – it actually works. Two things shocked me about this – one, that it was possible to recreate those visuals on a phone and two, that the control scheme would hold up.

However, unlike it’s console counterpart, the screen is littered with HUD icons to make up for the lack of a controller (they’re only really on screen when you need them). There were several moments where I wished for more screen space, which usually resulted in taking damage or completely missing a target – such issues are apparently fixed on iPad. The extra HUD is a shame, but it’s understandable (given the lack of a controller).

Even with the cramped screen the dismemberment focused combat still feels great – just as visceral and equally as fun. The quick time events were welcome, mixing up the combat and adding to the tension.

It’s not just tension that carries over from the home console version, the creepiness is intact. The visions the player encounters throughout the game are genuinely eerie. Though I wouldn’t really want to spoil any…

On my travels through the dark corridors of Dead Space, I didn't find any puzzles. Dead space puzzles were present to break up the pace and were more Resident Evil than Silent Hill; put this here, put that there, rotate, etc. This is a shame as there were a couple of moments in the original (one of which sticks in my mind) that shortly followed the first time the player is given telekinesis. The captain’s quarters if I recall - there was a secret room that could be accessed by sliding s shelving unit out of the way. It was relatively subtle and as such rather satisfying. Shame.

Some people will find the DLC tab in the in game store a little shameless – it’s purpose is to provide a fast track option to level up/complete the game, available to those willing to spend real money. I personally don’t mind this approach, though I’m fully aware this kinda thing would have existed in the form of cheats back in the good old days. Provided the money funds more software of this quality, I don’t mind – it’s subtle and very much optional.

The game is really fun, and a good length so it doesn’t outstay it’s welcome, and it looks great throughout. I mean, it’s Dead Space – it's Dead Space you can play on the toilet.

Pick it up.

3DS Day

2011-03-26T13:37:00.000Z

Hurrah, I just picked up my Nintendo 3DS. That's a whole day later than most of the other eager beavers/day one purchase saps. I'm slacking - a situation most likely down to the weak launch software. I can't complain too much, as I had stated in my last post, Street Fighter is very good and there are a lot of good titles on the way, it’s just the lack of a new Mario or Zelda is a bit of a downer… but it's still new hardware! WOOP!

I picked it up in "Aqua Blue". The finish looks and feels expensive and the colour is varied and interesting (fucking finger print magnet, though). If only I could get a similar finish on my iPhone... but red, it would have to be red. With each iteration of the hardware, Nintendo are taking their handhelds a step away from “children’s toy” to respectable hardware in the same space as the iPod or iPhone. But I digress...

First thing I did was make a Mii using the camera. Results were amusing, depending on facial expression I'd look like either Admiral Ackbar (a character I actually have as a Wii Mii) or a fat Asian man. It's useful to be able line up a photograph alongside the Mii character creator. Shortly after on settling on a rough approximation of my facial features I connected to my Wii and picked up some of my previously created characters - the obligatory Kurt Cobain and Barry Burton (they're obligatory, right)?

It’s pretty cool how you can create these QR codes to share your Mii’s – just go to the Mii Maker > QR Code/Image Options > Scan QR Code and point the 3DS camera at the above images to get them in your game. I’ve found a pretty good website with a few sets of existing one’s here. Of note are Nintendo characters, Phoenix Wright and the cast of Evangelion.

Next I tried the augmented reality card games. I can't stress enough how awesome these are - more so coming from somebody who hadn't experienced eye toy, kinect or indeed anything of that ilk previously. They're pretty simple; toss a card on a surface and watch a multitude of games unfold from the card through the 3D screen. Some of these games allow you to draw a 3D penis, project it into the real world (as displayed on the 3D screen) and then take a picture of said 3D penis and overlay it on somebodies forehead. M for Mature.

Shortly after I was presented with a warning to go outside. There's a lot of health warnings scattered throughout the 3DS hardware and its companion booklets, most likely down to the eye/nose/ear bleeding caused by Nintendo's previous 3D effort, the Virtual Boy. Nice of Nintendo to think of my health, but I was yet to try Face Raiders.

Unfortunately, Face Raiders is not Nintendo's efforts to bundle porn with the system, it is, however, an augmented reality game where you shoot disembodied heads/space crafts that appear around you, Andross style. The cute gimmick is that the crafts ate composed of pictures of your friends/family/enemies or indeed yourself. Oddly when using myself as the enemy, the face recognition software detected me as a "Young Lady". Sigh. That blip aside, it's a good bit of bite sized fun, but as with the AR card games, most likely something tried once or twice to show off in front of people/make yourself look stupid.

I picked up “Ghost Recon: Shadow of something or other” because @lochnesssnowman informed me that it was supposedly similar to X-Com. Quite true, and it's genuinely decent, but ultimately a pointless purchase to test the 3D-ness of the hardware. I'll be picking up Street Fighter and Pilotwings later in the week.

The Nintendo 3DS

2011-03-06T13:37:00.010Z

Last weekend I sampled a couple of games running on Nintendo's new handheld, the Nintendo 3DS. Here are my slightly delayed thoughts (no Internet in new flat - sad face).

Resident Evil: Mercenaries 3D
It's pretty much just the bonus "kill a bunch of bastards mode" that was used to unlock extras in resident evil 3 onwards but using the mechanics established in Resident Evil 4 (later refined in Resident Evil 5).
Kill bastards. Break open hour glasses to get more time to kill more bastards. Pick up more ammo to kill bastards. It's a classic tale. Pretty simple. Pretty fun.
Visually it appeared to be a slightly rough approximation of Resident Evil 4/5 (the spanish environment I sampled was ported from Resident Evil 4). The 3D added a nice layer of depth and helped with suspense/urgency as larger waves closed in.
The controls were tight and intuitive, though forgetting Nintendo's arrangement of A, B, X, Y didn't help with the "kick him in the puss" quick time events - a problem I used to suffer from in the Mario and Luigi games for DS.
I'd buy this.

Dead or Alive: Dimensions
Gone are the days of "lol handheld version with 4 characters", this iteration has a ridiculously large roster - there's a metric fuck tonne of jigglesome characters to choose from. Being a DOA2 fan I picked Helena who was rendered perfectly on the 3DS's ickle, but crisp screen. The 3D character select and stylish loading screens are welcome, yet as soon as I drop into game - "argh my eyes"! Dead or Alive offers a good looking but noisy experience. Its hard to say if it was just the 3D effect causing it, or the frame rate issues - either way as soon as I slid the slider to "off" the frame rate improved to a silky smooth 60 frames per second and the eye noise had gone.
This felt like value for money, a huge roster, tight controls and good visuals. It's a real shame the 3D is more of a hindrance here. I'd probably pick it up if I knew other people were interested on playing multiplayer.

Kid Icarus: Uprising
Its not very Kid Icarus, is it? Sure its got Pit and those Eggplant things, but its a lot more like Panzer Dragoon or Sin and Punishment than its platforming namesake. My time on this was short, but the instantly impressive visuals and again the alluring depth in the visuals made this a definite purchase for me.

Rabbids: Travel in Time 3D
A rather uninspired platformer with a shoe horned 3d parallax scrolling effect. Possibly a future bargain bucket purchase, but only because the Rabbid characters are awesome.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Pretty pretty zelda. Its Ocarina of Time, so it's obviously awesome. Updated character models, improved textures and quite possibly more responsive controls. The depth effects were quite jarring in this, I felt that I had to start playing with the 3D slider set to off/2D and slowly slide it back to full/3D to get my eyes to adjust - this is something I had to do every time I looked away from the screen. Troubling, but not disastrous, certainly nothing that will get in the way of me picking up a third copy of Ocarina of Time.

Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition
Sup, Street Fighter, the 80's want their title back. Much like Dead or Alive offered a large character selection (with more customisation out of the gate) but without the noisy 3d visuals. There's an added 3D friendly camera angle that accentuates the depth without hampering gameplay. I imagine this will be pretty popular around the Ruffian studio, so I'm probably gonna pick it up. It's just a shame I ran into a couple of control issues due to the shape of the system I kept pressing diagonal down-left rather than just left due to the angle my thumb was placed. This is a problem I had on this first iterations of the PSP.

A few other things I saw...

Asphalt 3D
Forgettable.

Ridge Racer 3D
I hate Ridge Racer.

Steel Diver
What is this game? Dull.

Nintendogs + Cats
Pointless.

Augmented reality games. Cool, but will rest in the "play it once then never again" category.

A look at the home screen - coerced my friend into drawing a cock and saving it alongside all the children's drawings. Mature.

A demo of Mario Kart (though not playable). It was rather pretty, but bland - then I'm not the biggest Mario Kart fan, give me Street Racer, Diddy Kong Racing or Crash Team Racing any day.

Oh, and I didn't get to play Pilotwings or Monkey Ball. Gutted.

Steam and the children of Black Mesa

2011-01-04T13:37:00.000Z

Over the festive period, Steam offered some pretty fantastic deals. I had a bit of spare cash due to my uneventful Christmas, so I’m now blessed with a rather long list of games that I am undoubtedly going to struggle to find time to play. Eyes bigger than my belly, believe me.

Firstly, I picked up some big titles such as Crysis and STALKER, along with their various addons and expansions. These are both games that I’ve been looking forward to playing for a good while – Crysis, obviously for the spectacle (still perfectly good for benchmarking purposes) and STALKER because I have a hard-on for the apocalypse and related media (I really do).

Secondly, I splashed out on several creepy indie efforts such as Amnesia: The Dark Descent, The Path and The Void – all of which I am sure to write about at some point, as this year (a new year’s resolution of sorts) I plan to document my progress through a stack of horror titles. The aim is to get through one a month, at the very least. Wish me luck.

And finally (and most importantly) I picked up the remaining Valve titles that I needed to complete my “collection” (excluding the rather pointless, “Half-Life: Source” and it’s deathmatch counterpart). This reminded me of the soon to be released, “Portal 2” and the crime against gaming that I have committed by not playing the original. So – I gave myself the unrealistic task of playing everything Half-Life. That’s Half-Life (and it’s addons), Half-Life 2 (and it’s episodes) and Portal (and… well, just Portal). It’s a lot to ‘get through’, but I’ve already made a start…

It was probably the fifth time I’ve played through the original Half-Life, although only the third time I’d made it to the game’s conclusion and had to choose between certain death and G-Man’s rape closet. This was, however, the first time I’d played through the game with Half-Life: Blue Shift’s high definition pack (thanks to Gearbox). The pack doesn’t really cure Half-Life from the woes of the software ageing process, but it offers some mild relief, although not without flaws or oddities. G-Man (as seen alongside his inter-dimensional rape closet) looks like a rough approximation of his lower definition self but certainly nothing like the bug-eyed, gaunt, and quite frankly creepy Half-Life 2 interpretation.

Half Life 2’s G-Man

The high definition pack also inexplicably swapped out the Glock 17 and MP5 with the Beretta M9 and M4A1 Carbine. Odd. Supposedly some people dislike the direction that Gearbox took the military characters, but I had no issues – decide for yourself by enabling/disabling the pack here (provided you are the proud owner of Half-Life and Half-Life: Blue Shift).

I seem to be getting a little off topic…

Half-Life stands up – sure it’s a little creaky, but it’s over a decade old. From the opening train ride onward, Half-Life gave us a peak of things to come. Although visually bare compared to today’s standards, the world is enriched by ambient events, such as the comedic and sometimes gruesome deaths of Black Mesa’s staff - many of which are deeply engrained in me and were the cause of a beaming smile slapped across my chops during this latest playthrough. I also found there was a comfort to be had. From the accuracy of the weapons, to the speed of the movement – everything felt familiar. Homely. This is most likely because I’ve spent a great deal of my game playing life in and around Half-Life and it’s many mods and addons – you don’t need me to tell you how many hours people have put into playing Counter-Strike.

…but let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet. The military sections were affront to my eyes, with the colour palette only ranging between shades of brown and grey. Going down ladders often led to fall damage. And then the big one. Xen. What an anti-climax to an otherwise great game. Terribly ambiguous jumping puzzles. The annoying, floating, bloated-headed baby things. And worst of all, the fucking Nihilanth. Awful. What a terrible and ambiguous final boss that was (keeping consistency with Xen), made worse by an awful character model (contrasting to the decent concept art).

The only sensible remedy to cure the empty feeling that Xen leaves you with when Half-Life is over?

~~Hope that~~ ~~Black Mesa Source~~ ~~is released.~~

Play the Gearbox expansion packs.

I managed to play Half-Life: Decay - expect a few words on that soon provided I manage to shift this blasted cold in a timely manner.

Enslaved & Medal of Honor

2010-12-05T13:37:00.000Z

Right - it’s been a while, but I’ve been busy with work and the complex construction of snow penises. So here’s a little update with my opinions on two games I managed to finish recently; Enslaved and Medal of Honor.

From the get go Enslaved is impressive both stylistically and visually, from the futuristic menus that prefix gameplay to the rich and colourful world you crash into in the games opening - you won't find a prettier apocalypse. This is not the post apocalyptic wasteland of fallout, it’s more akin to I am legend or twelve monkeys. It's an interesting refreshing alternative to the dreary wastelands that we have become accustomed to; it’s colour palette is vibrant and the environments varied. I feel it’s also worth calling out the stunning quality of the character models, particularly Pigsy (whom I believe is the star of the first DLC pack).

The gameplay is extremely similar to Ninja Theories previous title, “Heavenly Sword” - short exploration segments separated by some of the nicest cutscenes you're going to see this console generation (as I briefly mentioned back in July). This time around, the QuickTime events have been replaced with a limited platforming sections, where the game unfortunately falls a little flat. It's impossible to fall from ledges, the player can jump from specific marked up areas of the environment (yes, that means you can run against an edge hammering the “A” button until you find a valid jumping spot), and this is how the majority of navigation plays out, hammering the “A” button. It's a small price to pay to remove the frustration of constant failure (and it almost always looks pretty aside from the aforementioned issues).

The combat feels a little simpler than heavenly sword - with stances removed you've got a heavy and light attack with some combos to avoid monotony. It's very simple but not without depth entirely. You can block, reverse and pull off an attack that can dizzy your foes for a short period. It's a step in the right direction allowing for accessible gameplay and some depth without bloating the combat system as found in Heavenly Sword.

Other than some design inconsistencies, regarding HUD use/objectives it was a really solid experience. It's not going to blow you away by any means, but it's got a good story and it's a fun ride along the way. If you’re looking for a good, solid, albeit short single player game, then I recommend picking this up.

Now onto Medal of Honor.

Really?

My first impressions of this were excellent. After hearing the controls were more or less identical to Modern Warfare 2, I jumped into the multiplayer and had a blast. I particularly enjoyed the objective based Assault mode – quick to learn and quick to master. The level design was solid, sporting some amazing visuals and very impressive environmental effects. Most importantly, the weapon damage felt spot on – I was able to compete and rank quite highly in a very short amount of time. Very positive, and a refreshing change from the beating I usually receive in the Modern Warfare 2.

And then I tried the single player…

What happened?

It's been quite some time since I've seen the unreal engine looking this rough. First off the combat felt clunky - this is difficult to explain, but I felt as though firing my weapon wasn't actually inflicting damage on my opponents, but playing a scene whereby the enemy died… I felt like I was playing a rail shooter where someone else was holding the gun. Then I began to witness invisible walls between objectives, and other invisible walls surrounding me, funnelling me through the environment, models popping into place before my very eyes, enemies floating, friendly AI walking through walls, and worst of all show stopping scripting bugs (I'm looking at you DSHK mission).

I like what they were trying to do, being so current and at times, edgy. There was a single brief moment of genius, where I felt they actually nailed an atmosphere and did something ballsy in the meantime. I refer to the mission at a midpoint of the game where you and your squad are pinned down in a hut attached by waves of Taliban from all sides, the walls literally falling from their rockets and even one point a car (which couldn't be shot) that hurtles through one of the ruined walls. Though this drama was diluted somewhat by my random death (without being shot) that was seemingly issued for not following the objective to the letter – though it would not surprise me if this was a bug, not sure....

Buy it if you don't own Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and enjoy multiplayer, but if you're looking for single player, pick up enslaved instead.

iPhone Castlevania & Silent Hill

2010-10-28T13:37:00.000+01:00

I’ve been doing a spot of travelling as of late and like any other time that I travel, I tend to acquire a couple of games to play on my various portable devices. On this occasion I picked up two Konami games for the iPhone; “Castlevania Puzzle: Encore of the Night” and “Silent Hill: The Escape”.

First up is the poorly titled, “Castlevania Puzzle: Encore of the Night”. It's a Puyo Puyo clone with spats of Puzzle Fighter. The screen is split into two grids with two sprites opposite each other in the centre, these sprites represent both the player character and enemy. Gameplay consists of randomised pairings of coloured blocks falling to the base of the grid. These pairs can be rotated before settling at the lowest vertical point – at which point the next pairing begins to drop. Once 3 or more coloured blocks touch, they are cleared from the grid. Pretty standard stuff. There’s the added complication of protected blocks which don’t become active in play until they are adjacent to a successful matching, but it’s nothing unusual if you’ve played Puyo Puyo or any of it’s many clones (I’m also reminded slightly of the Sega classic, “Baku Baku Animal”).

Puzzles aside, this is still Castlevania, and thus several game mechanics from the series make a return; such as the health bars and RPG-like stats of previous Castlevania title, Symphony of the Night.

Throughout play there’s a constantly emptying hour glass – once empty an attack occurs for both parties, and the sprites attack each other accordingly. The damage done during the attack depends purely on the two character’s stats – which are determined by the player when they distribute their XP (gained by winning battles). The automated attacks are periodic and occur throughout the round. Additional attacks can be caused by spells, which can be cast at any point (MP willing) and also by filling up the opponents grid. Spells are awarded when XP is spent on the various different magic stats. An opponents grid can be filled up by chaining multiple coloured blocks into a combo – this is a pretty awesome feature, because even if your grid is full, you’re still not out of the fight. Like Puzzle Fighter, this is a puzzle game where comebacks can be strong and frequent – it’s not unusual for the balance to shift multiple times in one round.

The game actually plays like a metroidvania title not unlike Symphony of the Night, only puzzle battles take the place of the standard two dimensional fights one would expect from this game’s name sake. It's a pretty interesting take on the genre, not unlike Puzzle Quest.

It’s also quite well presented, the age old sprites look pretty good on the iPhone screen and the backgrounds (which look ripped from Symphony of the Night) are rich and colourful. The menus are generally clear and are simple to navigate, with the exception of some of the stats screens which can be a little fiddly on the old chubby digits. The sound design is authentic to the series and the music loops suit the game’s pace. However, I do suggest using the game’s built in custom music function and playing “Castlevania: Sonata of the Damned” (free download).

It’s not all rainbows and blowjobs, however, the game’s controls are rather clumsy – one can manipulate the blocks by rubbing or swiping left, right or down across the screen, with screen taps causing the blocks to rotate. I've yet to really find the sweet spot as far as sensitivity is concerned, and I had to disable any gesture based input as it was resulting in blocks dropping unintentionally. It can feel rewarding to win over this slightly lacklustre control scheme, but it’s a hollow victory - I don’t agree that Resident Evil’s fear comes from bad controls, it’s a poor man’s way to provoke an emotion or in this case, challenge.

This game is begging for an Xbox Live Arcade port, the visuals would stand up pretty well (especially after seeing the recent Xbox Live Arcade title, “Castlevania HD”) and the controls would no doubt benefit from something as tactile as a Directional Pad. That said, after reaching the 85% point after 10 hours and witnessing the series staple “bad ending”, I am unlikely to revisit the title again - I already own Puzzle Fighter on Xbox Live Arcade, and it’s still my favourite block based puzzler on the platform (take that Puzzle Quest).

Castlevania is available on iTunes here.

Next up I downloaded “Silent Hill: The Escape”.

It's awful.

One of the most confusing and awkward control schemes ever – like many games on the iPhone, the developer hasn’t even slightly taken into account the platform it was created for (see the unfortunately awful “Duke Nukem 3D” on iPhone for another example). The movement mechanics almost always have me walking past a turning or running into walls. The iPhone just isn't a natural fit for first person shooters that require advanced movement and camera - give me a rail shooter over these badly shoehorned experiences any day. One thing that bothers me is that there was indeed a Silent Hill rail shooter - why not simply port that?

I’ll touch on the controls to ensure that one’s curiosity won’t lead to a purchase of this car crash (no, there’s no “lite” version or free demo). A Directional Pad is placed on the screen wherever you place your finger – this controls forward/backward movement and left/right turning (no strafing).

Okay so far.

Next couple in the fact that the camera is controlled by the position of the iPhone (tilting the iPhone down/up will result in the character looking down/up).

What a novel idea?

Now, layer in the fact that to fire your gun you need to tap directly in the centre of the screen…

It’s fucking ridiculous.

I’m not giving out a download link.

Kill it with fire.

Second Person/Second Hand

2010-08-13T13:37:00.000+01:00

You’re walking through Dundee.

You’re on your lunch break.

You’re walking down the high street.

You want to buy a game.

You want to buy an Xbox 360 game.

You want to buy Splinter Cell: Conviction on the Xbox 360.

You walk into Gamestation.

You look for copies of the game.

You look again for new copies of the game.

You fail.

You ask a quite ugly shop assistant where you can buy new games.

The quite ugly shop assistant tells you that they “don’t really do new games outside of the chart and new releases”.

You make sure that he knows this practice is disgusting and leave immediately.

The shop assistant doesn’t care.

The shop assistant is still ugly.

You walk across the street to Game.

You ignore shop assistants and head to the Xbox 360 games.

You note that the selection is a little more varied but predominantly stocked with pre owned games.

You return to work without a purchase.

You buy a new copy of Splinter Cell: Conviction on the Xbox 360 from Play.com for cheaper than it would have been if it were a second hand purchase from a brick and mortar store.

You write a blog post about your dislike of retail.

The Two Russells

2010-07-26T13:37:00.000+01:00

Grant waddles into the dimly lit sitting room and peers around. He sees Brand looking fashionable as ever, sat cross-legged playing something involving burly army men in armour running about with big guns across a desert. The sound of gunfire fills the room. Grant parks his flabby derriere onto the sofa alongside Brand, forcing him to shift to accommodate Grant's monstrous ass as it relaxes into the seat.

"So, what you playing?" sneers Grant, his ass slowly consuming the cushion.

"Killzone," replies Brand.

Grant's eyes widen whilst he excitedly shuffles in his seat.

"Why are you playing that piece of shit?" Grant barks, before muting himself with a Cream Horn.

"...actually its rather good," responds Brand, "it's under appreciated by most, and I got it down the market for a fiver - can't complain".

Grant forces the remainder of the Cream Horn into his salivating chops pushing it in with his chubby digits. He splutters briefly before letting out a belly laugh.

"Five pounds too much!" Grant laughs, "this looks terrible; it looks like a PS1 game covered in mud".

"Visually dated, for sure, but the art style is so strong - the characters look so interesting" replies Brand.

"Ha, well Halo 3 got a 10 in Edge," spits Grant "this got a 6".

Brand rolls his eyes and continues to concentrate on the game. Grant thumbs around on his Blackberry.

"You know this has a metacritic of 70," Grant spouts, hyperventilating at the promise of an argument.

Brand continues shooting the Helghast as they pop up from murder holes in their desert fort.

"The start of the game is pretty rough," Brand concedes, "but you should see the variation in later levels".

Grant purses his grease-coated lips and huffs impatiently.

Brand continues, "You see, later on you get to fight in this park in the middle of a city. There are cherry blossoms in the air, and a subtle white fog masking the outskirts of the city. It's an interesting contrast".

Grant rubs his sticky palms on his face, clearly agitated by the merit Brand is putting forth.

"But look at the frame rate, that's not even 20" barks Grant.

"True. That's true," agrees Brand, "but it's bearable, and I'm taking it for what it is - an above average 6 year old game".

Grant scrambles around the floor looking for the box of Cream Horns. He has eaten them all. He gestures his chubby little arms at the flickering screen.

"Why don't you play a newer game with better graphics?" Grant screams.

"That's the plan," replies Brand, "I've already made a start on Killzone 2, I just wanted to go back and see what had changed or been modernised".

"...but that's on the shitty Playstation fail! Why would you waste your time with that?" Grant spouts.

"It's arguably one of the nicest looking games this generation," says Brand, "and it's take on first person cover, is quite interesting, very cinematic".

Grant rubs his face continually.

"But they stole it from Gears of War!" Grant cries.

"Well, that doesn't matter too much, but if you are going to be pedantic, then they actually stole the mechanic from Kill Switch," sighs Brand.

Grant rubs his face again.

"Killzone 2 is just grey and brown!" Grant exclaims.

Brand smiles and replies, "Yeah, they stole it from Gears of War".

The iPhone and some other stuff

2010-07-08T13:37:00.000+01:00

As of late I’ve been spending a great deal of time on trains, planes and toilets playing games on my iPhone, since getting it fixed last month. Initially I had my nose turned up at any form of mobile gaming, having sampled terrible iPhone interpretations of Sonic and Megaman 2. However, they were just bad ports. I needed a gateway drug - a killer app if you prefer.

Enter Doodle Jump, a dangerously addictive platform game – or as the game’s tagline warns, “insanely addictive”. The controlled method used is the chief difference between this platform game and the two titles mentioned prior. In both Sonic and Megaman 2, players are forced to use the touch screen as a makeshift controller, which is pretty fucking horrible. With games that rely on such speed and accuracy, the player needs some tactile feedback - having to check if one’s finger is in the correct place on a flat touch screen is no fun at all, and it leads to one’s chubby digits covering the action. Rubbish.

Doodle Jump however takes the hardware into consideration by using the tilt functionality to control horizontal movement. This is used in combination with your character’s automatic constant jumping to get from platform to platform. The player must make their way up the stage as far as possible using the edges of the stage to loop to the other side a la Pac Man (something necessary as the challenge increases). There are some enemies dotted between platforms, but they are few and far between and telegraphed way ahead of their appearance through amusing gurgling audio cues. They can be either jumped on or shot and killed. The latter is executed by tapping anywhere on the touch screen. The enemies, player character and platforms all have a hand-drawn, make shift look which works reasonably well, bit it’s not going to be winning any awards for visuals. An area it excels at other than accessibility is longevity. I've put a few hours into this offline, but the real time was clocked whilst attempting to oneup the people on my Facebook friends list - this integration should be on every iPhone game. You simply attach your facebook account to the game and your scoreboard is updated with the furthest point your friends managed to jump to. I don't need or want anything more than the that. I just need the ability to see what my friends have scored and let them know when I pass them on the score board. Fuck achievements - this is war. It weighs in at £0.59 for iPhone, so buy it and beat my score!

Next up is Zen Bound, and in contrast to Doodle Jump, a very relaxing experience. It’s a puzzle game without a time limit attached, very pretty and set to a great soundtrack by Ghost Monkey (which is downloadable upon purchase of the app). It’s a very interesting idea; one simply has a three dimensional block of wood attached to a piece of paint covered rope - the aim is to coat the block in paint by wrapping up the block with the rope. When you get close to the extents of the rope you must wrap the rope around a nail found somewhere on the block. The challenge comes as the blocks become more intricate and shorter rope is provided. The control method again takes the hardware into mind. The block can be rotated using the touch screen and the angle at which the player can wrap the rope is determined by the angle the iPhone is tilted. It’s quite a pretty game; the 3D blocks are rendered beautifully on the iPhone’s screen with dynamic shadows being cast on the backdrop as well as the blocks themselves and the textures in the scenes are all of a respectable resolution. It's bloody addictive and you'll find yourself going back to cover more of your previous blocks with less rope. It's very much dip-in, dip-out - the sweet spot for mobile gaming. If you have an iPhone and £1.79 to spare, you should buy this. If you’re a bit of a fat cat and have an iPad with a spare £4.99 to spend, then I would advise picking up it’s sequel, Zen Bound 2.

The moral of the story? When it comes to iPhone games, create with the control method in mind, and stay on the casual dip-in, dip-out side of design.

A couple of things worth mentioning…

I played and completed a pair of early Playstation 3 exclusives; Heavenly Sword and Haze.

First up, Heavenly Sword. Very pretty, very short, but that’s not a bad thing. I recommend picking it up if you want something to do on a lazy Sunday and would like to be wowed by some of the most impressive cutscene animation to date.

Second, I gave Haze a whirl as it was gaining dust on my shelf. Haze was such a fascinating idea with tonnes of potential, but with the worst execution I’ve seen in years. Finishing it was a chore. Steer clear of this train wreck. In this day and age it isn’t enough to make an average first person shooter – so you certainly can’t make a bad one and get away with it. Free Radical closed it’s doors shortly after the release of Haze. They didn’t get away with it.

…and Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe grabbed my attention again (thanks to a friendly poke from one of the game’s producers on twitter). Great visuals and good fun to be had – though I found it impossible to pull off a single Fatality/Brutality (I have been offered some form of a tutorial for the next game). There’s a story mode complete with cheesy cutscenes and almost zero load times. I advise picking it up in anticipation for the upcoming Mortal Kombat reboot.

Squid In A Box (Waves) now has a website, check it out.

Gamewank is back for another season, find it here. They’re a good laugh, give them a listen.

E3 has been and gone, I won’t comment on it, but I shall leave you with the new Crackdown 2 trailer.

Oh, and I’ve been playing a lot of this.

…and for those who want to play it and ask me some questions, I will be around GAME in Dundee Friday July 9th.

Welcome to Shanghai

2010-07-02T13:37:00.000+01:00

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men is still quite fresh to me, having replayed it on Games for Windows just this weekend. I’ve always thought it was an underrated title. I don't particularly want to get into the whole Jeff Gerstmann controversy; however, it is worth noting that the game suffered somewhat critically. Kane and Lynch’s visuals weren’t great, but they weren’t offensive by any means. They were functional and worked relatively well in combination with the intentionally clinical environments. Said environments heavily supported gameplay scenarios sometimes directly replicating the source material touching on scenes from Michael Mann’s Heat and Collateral. It’s true strength was in it’s protagonists – a pair of seemingly unlikeable criminals with a penchant for the old ultra-violence. Through the course of the game I got quite attached to these two potty mouths and was greatly anticipating their next outing together.

Fortunately I was one of the lucky people who got their hands on an early demo code for the follow up, Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days. Here are my impressions.

The demo opens with a reference to the YouTube nature of the game’s visuals in the form of a “buffering” loading icon - a hint of things to come. The game’s menu backdrop appears to be a window looking out to the slums of Shanghai backed by an Asian pop ballad interrupted occasionally by barking dogs and slow ominous footsteps. I’m reminded of John Woo’s “A Better Tomorrow”. This is a good thing. I’ve not even started the game and I’m feeling the atmosphere.

I jump straight into Arcade Mode and ignore all of the tutorials. I want to go in at the deep end. Whilst the game “buffers”, the scene is set by a conversation between two goons, something I appreciated in the first game. Dialogue always helps ease the annoyance of loading screens (see Modern Warfare 2 for another example of this).

The game begins. I’m part of a crew of 8 thieves and we’re going to do over a warehouse delivery. The action unfolds around me whilst I just sit and look at the game’s interesting visuals. I’m stationary but the camera is constantly on the move, shaking around the me as if being filmed by a handycam. It’s a nice touch and the tension builds as soon as I start to move. The camera bobs and tracks me like a war correspondent on a battlefield and it’s just plain exciting when I break into a run. It’s all very convincing.

As I manoeuvre around the environment I realise just how smooth and responsive the game feels. The camera rotates looks where I want it to look and all of the controls are where I would expect them. This is a huge improvement. The previous game was condemned for it’s clunky controls and often odd automatic cover system. Sure there are a few pops in animation when switching to different player actions/states, but this time responsiveness takes priority, and that’s more important.

I slam my back against a shipping container and start taking shots at the police across the warehouse. Whilst against cover I check myself out. I’m one ugly son of a bitch, but ugly in the best possible way - if I am playing as a money grabbing ass hole, I want to look like one.

I clip a couple of cops in the distance and take down an attack dog with a spray of machine gun fire. Satisfying. The weapon accuracy isn’t a problem. The weapons respond just right. I feel taking my time with shots makes all the difference in popping heads at a distance. I’ve let my crew do the dirty work so far so I need to catch up – it’s not long until the next pick up. I don’t want to be left behind.

I sprint ahead taking the odd stray shot from the remaining cops. I’m hit in the leg, and artifacts are thrown across the screen. I’m shot in the shoulder and blood spatters across the camera lens. This is intense. I slam back into cover and pop the remaining cops in the head before escaping in the getaway car. It’s like I’m in a fucking Michael Mann film. My dick is officially hard.

It’s time to go online.

I have a similar if more random experience playing with and against real people. I start seeing fire extinguishers being tossed as make shift grenades, people using each other as human shields, and an increase in tactical play. This game’s multiplayer deserves legs as did it’s predecessor. This is what APB should have been. Cops and robbers done right.

…I am aware I have only touched upon the multiplayer portion of the game; I’ll leave the single player for when the demo goes public (hint: it’s really good).

Overall, really good fun. Definitely looking like a contender for my personal game of the year, based on one night with the demo. Good job IO Interactive, you’ve made the game I’ve always wanted to play.

IO Interactive are good guys, give them a follow on twitter.

Savygamer Podcast, Evolution Festival, Croatia Holiday, etc.

2010-06-13T13:37:00.000+01:00

The last few weeks have been crazy busy - though for the first time in a 12 months it is not for work reasons. We at Ruffian have now finished work on Crackdown 2, as confirmed by our company twitter account. Exciting, huh? It’s less than a month until release - it’s hard to believe it’s over in such a short time. It’s been hard work, but the results have been worth all of the struggles and pain (getting a “AAA” game out in just over a year is no walk in the park). I’ve played through the game’s campaign start to finish a couple of times recently – it’s a huge improvement over the original title and still manages to innovate in areas where competing titles do not. The drop in/drop out four player co op is seamless – I don’t think I’ve played an open world title that has managed to pull that off. The multiplayer is great fun too – reminds me a lot of Quake 3. I’m pretty good at it too.

I addressed the short development time and other such subjects when I was interviewed on the Savygamer podcast, which can be found here.

…and if you don’t like listening to podcasts, then fellow designer Martin Livingston answered some questions over at Gamasutra.

Anyway, back to why I have been busy outside of work.

I do go on, don’t I?

Two weekends ago I attended the Evolution festival in Newcastle along with another Crackdown 2 designer, Graham Wright who took that photograph you see over to the left. I found the event to be a pretty sobering experience. I felt really out of touch with modern music and I didn’t quite understand what was going on with the “fashion” adorning “the kids” around me. The seemingly random mix of materials, clashing colours, trousers dropped to their ankles and luminous elastoplasts on their faces, all just struck me as rather odd. Despite these borderline “old man” complaints I managed to scrape some fun out of the event. Not only did I get to taste salt and vinegar flavoured shredded potato on a stick, but I was exposed to some music that had previously passed me by; De La Soul and The Horrors. Though completely dissimilar in genre, both had the correct audio credentials to keep my ear holes happy. These are likely going to be hitting my Spotify playlist very soon.

That same weekend I got my iPhone fixed! Cost a hefty £139 – I went for a brand new one, rather than letting the apple store workers fob me off with a replacement screen to accompany my already scratched iPhone body. At least now it’s all pretty and new again… I must buy a case/cover for it this time.

The following weekend I joined some fellow ex Midway employees on a small weekend away in Croatia. I got suitably drunk, tanned and penniless from the whole experience. Well worth it. Got to shoot the shit about old times and what we are all up to nowadays…

…which is a good opportunity to “pimp” the work of some of my previous co-workers at Midway.

Steve Lee, a fellow mission designer on Wheelman is working hard on People Can Fly’s new first person shooter, “Bulletstorm”. It’s looking very pretty and appears to tap into the same kill/score mechanic that I was so addicted to in The Club/50 Cent Blood on the Sand. Really looking forward to it.

The second, a game being worked on by two ex Midway guys – Chris Rowe and Rob Hale over at Ninja Theory. They’re currently in the latter stages of development on “Enslaved: Odyssey to the West”, third person action-adventure set in a post apocalyptic world. It promises to deliver in the story department thanks to being penned by 28 Days Later’s Alex Garland. I’ve yet to play Ninja Theory’s previous title, “Heavenly Sword”, but it’s on my shelf in a long-ass queue of PS2 & PS3 games I need to play.

Rob Hale gets a second shout out for his work on his own personal project (under the pseudonym, Squid In A Box) known as “Waves”, a modern take on the design that made Robotron so great. It’s looking very reminiscent of Geometry Wars (not a bad thing). Check out the videos over at the Waves moddb page.

Another fellow ex Midway designer, Evan Michaels along with a large chunk of the Wheelman QA department are celebrating the announcement of the next Driver title. I’m sure they are all currently crunching their collective arses off on an E3 demo. Have fun with that :D

And finally the old Midway guys at Warner Chicago have announced their new studio name, NetherRealm Studios and their first game, a new title in the Mortal Kombat franchise. Shout outs to Shaun and Hector (both of whom worked on Wheelman).

So given that lot, I am really looking forward to E3 – I won’t be there (sad face), but I’ll be sat at work watching it on my secondary monitor from Tuesday onwards. Wondering what Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft have up their sleeves…

Oh and as a last minute bonus, my wrasslin’ obsessed pal just spotted this in UFC…

WRASSLIN’!

Memoria

2010-05-16T13:37:00.000+01:00

It’s late 1996; John Major is serving his penultimate year as prime minister for the Conservative party, GM foods are now on sale in the UK, the third Doctor/Worzel Gummidge has died and we have a new James Bond in Pierce Brosnan. I am 11 years old.

I am travelling to Merry Hill Shopping Centre in Dudley with a £20 note tightly gripped in the palm of my hand. I’m going to buy a game.

During the one and a half hour drive I play nothing but Tetris on my Game Boy. Though Tetris is a fantastic game, it becomes dull when it’s the only game available to me that I haven’t finished (and to my knowledge it isn’t even possible). I need a new Game Boy game. I am on the lookout for The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

I was a huge fan of the series. The Legend of Zelda was the third game to grace my NES following Super Mario Bros. and Castlevania. It was also too difficult for me at the time. I still managed to appreciate it’s sprawling fantasy world, filled with caves and dungeons to explore - all littered with enemies to fight or people to interact with. To me it was light years ahead of Super Mario Bros. I was always fascinated by the concept of an inventory, in-game currency and merchants. To this day I believe Zelda is to blame for my video game item hoarding, whereby I will save ammunition for special weapons or expensive items and simply use my default weapons until the end of the game, never to use the one’s that I was saving. It’s an annoying habit, and I have yet to shake it some 18 years later from those days plugging away on my NES. It’s not too bad going back to it – sure it’s dated, but it’s still got the building blocks in place that the franchise is now known for. In recent years I started playing it again on the GameCube's Zelda compilation disc, and I currently have a save game at the final dungeon (the furthest I have ever got)!

That said, my love of the franchise was not cemented until The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on the SNES. Upon it’s release I was at an age that could fully appreciate all of the advancements in the series; not only enhanced graphics, more character actions/items and further realised characters, but a whole light/dark world mechanic that introduced environmental puzzles and a greater length of play. This was the first Zelda game I played through to completion (and have again in recent years thanks to the GBA remake). One of my first genuine memories of sadness in a video game comes from the “flute boy” in the Haunted Grove who turns into a fucking inanimate tree once you obey his wishes and play his flute to him… but you do get a shovel and a flute from him beforehand, so who cares, right?

It’s still a rich and exciting adventure to this day and the visuals still look great. If you’ve not played it yet, I fully recommend you do. It’s available on the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console for 800 points. Buy it.

Back to 1996.

I have one destination – Electronics Boutique. I ignore every other shop and make a beeline to it’s doors. Disaster. It’s £30. It’s out of my budget. ‘Gutted’ isn’t the word. I appear in front of my mother and tell her the distressing news. She tells me it’s £20 over in Index. Jackpot.

I bag Zelda and wish away the time before getting back to the car. There’s a large billboard advertising GoldenEye showings at the cinema – I want to see it but the last showing is already underway. No matter, I have Zelda.

It’s dark. The only light supplied to my first generation Game Boy screen is supplied by overhead motorway street lights – not perfect, but I’m playing Zelda and I’m smiling.

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening was an odd title. The game didn’t feature Zelda or even a princess, but a Zelda look-a-like known as Marin, daughter of the Mario look-a-like Tarin, the first of many Nintendo cameos in the game – another oddity where the Zelda series is concerned. It played similarly to A Link to the Past with a similar graphical style, though most likely entirely lifted from “Kaeru no Tame ni Kane wa Naru”, another Takashi Tezuka game, which also featured platforming areas similar to the bastard child of Nintendo’s Zelda series, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Vomit.

The gameplay varied from the series’ simple top down combat to fetch quests to dungeon puzzles – the most memorable of which had you lugging a giant ball above your head (which you had to try not to lose) in order to toss it at four pillars to reveal a new dungeon floor that collapses above. You would guide Link (or THIEF) around the overworld solving various puzzles along the way and acquiring new weapons/items to progress between dungeons – standard Zelda fair, but this time in the palm of your hand (something quite spectacular in the early 1990’s).

It wasn’t all rainbows and blowjobs, however. With the Game Boy only having two buttons, the controls were an issue – constantly switching back and forth between the game and the inventory mid boss fight was not an unusual practise. And *spoilers* the story may or may not have been a dream. Wank.

Minor negatives aside, it was a fun game and took a long time to get through – the overworld was huge and the number of secrets and fetch quests upped my game time considerably.

Unfortunately there’s no easy way to play this game anymore as it was only released on the Game Boy and rereleased in colourised form for the Game Boy Color (The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX). Here’s hoping titles like this will eventually be made available on the DSiWare Store.

Kotaku Talk Radio

2010-04-30T13:37:00.000+01:00

Last Wednesday I was on the Kotaku Talk Radio along with three fellow Ruffian designers, Steve Ianetta, Dean Smith and Graham Wright. It was great fun, and I feel we may have at last put to rest the bone of contention that is transforming cars and the lack of female agents – both of which I believe are non issues, but people get can become attached to features no matter how big or small – I for one haven’t enjoyed Halo multiplayer since the removal of health/health packs post Halo: Combat Evolved.

You can download the podcast over at iTunes or directly here.

For those who want further explanation for the elephant in the room, please read on.

Transforming cars were a feature that I had personally forgotten about until the mid point of Crackdown 2’s development. You have to understand, most of my work has been below the ground around freak lairs - cars are not plentiful in these locations, although you can bring them with you…

There were multiple reasons to drop morphing cars, one of those was memory. Contrary to common forum dweller belief, when one crams as many features as we have into the game, you begin to discover that a console’s power is finite. There is a set amount of memory to use and we had already allocated it with our many other game features (which players can and will take advantage of when we release this July). That’s not to say this ends up bad for the player – not in the slightest. In the first Crackdown, as you levelled up your driving skill you were provided upgrades to the Agency vehicles, the most fun/important of which was the Agency SUV which allowed Agents to drive/bounce up vertical surfaces (provided they were handy enough behind the wheel). This ability was not granted until the player had maxed out their driving level, which is something very few people achieved (based upon achievement statistics and Microsoft user tests). Now we are providing all vehicles fully maxed out from the get-go. As soon as a vehicle is in your possession, you are able to use it to it’s full abilities. Enjoy.

Remember, this time we have a helicopter.

It’s fucking awesome.

Next up, female agents.

In the early stages of development these were planned (it’s true, I’ve seen concept art) but as with the other elephant in the room they were dropped due to technical limitations; memory required for an entire batch of animations to match the male character, the texture sets, the character model, the head models… this would have impacted other areas of the game, where we were crafting a bigger, better ~~and more badass~~ experience.

Also, Ruffian Games is a fucking sausage fest.

So there.

I hope that clears up some of the issues remaining from the podcast. I think it went really well, though the following events did not go without hiccup, in the hysteria following I got rather inebriated and smashed my iPhone screen - £146. Ouch.

If anyone knows of a reliable cover/protector for iPhones, please let me know in the comments below – I don’t want to be replacing any more screens in a hurry.

Oh and thanks to Brian Crecente and Stephen Totilo for having us on.

I’m back!

2010-04-27T13:37:00.000+01:00

It’s been some time since I’ve updated, but that’s because I’ve been busy working on Crackdown 2. It’s been a whirlwind project with little to no time to really look around and take in the scenery. This month marks my final month working on the project and I have to say I’m quite pleased with the result.

I find it amazing how quickly the game has come together in these last few weeks – it now looks and plays like a finished game. There’s obviously a lot to do for the rest of the team (read: programmers) but as far as I’m concerned, my work is done. Time to move onto something new…

…which I can’t talk about right now, but the future is all very exciting. As is the past. I’ve recently been working through a rather large backlog of games spanning various platforms, one of those games was Metal Gear Solid.

It’s a game that needs very little introduction, Metal Gear Solid was released in 1998 to critical acclaim - though I personally didn’t play it until 2000 when I finally realised what I was missing. I had missed out on one of the most cinematic experiences of the decade - an experience that still stands up today; from it’s excellent voice acting, rich characters, it’s deep and engaging story to it’s ground breaking graphics and convincing environments.

The game had it all and offered an unprecedented level of interactivity for a console game, sometimes even breaking the fourth wall. Moments such as placing the controller on the table for the mind reading boss, Psycho Mantis to manipulate the controller using the dual shock’s force feedback, and having to check the back of the CD case for a code required to progress the story - though the latter was possibly an attempt to foil piracy. There are too many moments to list where Konami broke the mould, my personal favourite being the first time I played around with the genome soldiers – placing my back to a wall just around the corner from said unsuspecting guard, rapping my knuckles on the wall to get his attention, and then sneaking around behind him as he cautiously investigates my knock. Awesome.

The only flaw I could find playing it today was regarding the use of the analogue sticks which don’t appear to take into account the sensitivity curves, so any first person action feels clumsy, and although that is a nitpick, it did make one of the final battles more difficult than it needed to be. Saying that, the controls for all other player actions are excellent.

I think I will always go back to MGS when I’m looking for character inspiration or a reminder of how varied the design of a game can be. A reminder that you can change perspective for dramatic effect, you can limit a player’s movement when the situation demands it, and again, you can break the fourth wall whenever you want to ‘play’ with the player.

Also, it’s worth playing to hear Sniper Wolf’s ridiculously sexy voice. Schwing!

Metal Gear Solid is available for download on PSN and is playable on both Playstation 3 and PSP.

Wikipedia Article

I must address some sad news. On July 14th, 2009, my previous employer Midway Studios – Newcastle closed it’s doors as a result of Midway’s continual financial woes. Subsequently this also resulted in the death of it’s project, “Necessary Force”, a game which I had a personal attachment and a great deal of faith in it raising Midway’s reputation. Alas this was not to be.

Not all was lost, as most of the team went on to other development studios. Several designers had already joined Ruffian Games before the collapse, and a large portion of the programming team moved to CCP. Others scattered to Ubisoft, Sega, Sumo Digital, People Can Fly and Ninja Theory. Shortly after the closure some artists banded together and formed Atomhawk Design, a studio specialising in concept art.

I wish everyone involved the best of luck.

From Midway to Ruffian

2009-05-15T13:37:00.000+01:00

On May 22nd 2009 I will leave the Midway Studios – Newcastle offices for the last time. The majority of my time was spent working on Wheelman as a designer (particularly in mission design). I started working on the title on November 17th 2007 and quickly blended into the team making a couple of good friends along the way. I’m glad to have worked with them and am proud to have Wheelman in my portfolio.

Wheelman wasn’t a perfect game, but given the circumstances in which it was given life, it was never going to be. It’s always difficult to sell new IP and even more so with the Midway logo on the box (thanks to journalists). The game was seen by many as a poor Grand Theft Auto clone and declared ‘last gen’ visually – both statements came generally from the ill informed and the ignorant.

Wheelman didn’t offer an open world in the GTA sense, but it didn’t intend to – the title offered a lot of varied game content over a large game space in the form of a digital Barcelona (with some artistic license). The graphics themselves may not have been top tier but the focus was on the technical achievement in providing a streaming, colourful, high detail open world at a high frame rate in the Unreal Engine 3.0.

Wheelman’s primary achievements were with the driving (on foot was only ever for pacing purposes). The game had one of the most accessible driving models and some of the most fun/inventive driving mechanics I’ve ever witnessed – I am happy to have been a part of their development (vehicle melee needs to go in the next Burnout).

Sceptics should download the demo (available on Xbox Live/PSN) and see for themselves.

A couple of Midway shout outs are in order (and their twitter accounts). The following people helped me most throughout the project – firstly with settling into the company, then later helping and inspiring me in the area of design…

Mark Thompson (Lead Mission Designer)

http://twitter.com/markasthompson

Simon Woodroffe (Creative Director)

http://twitter.com/SimonSorcerer

Dean Smith (Mission Designer)

http://twitter.com/DeanJamesSmith

Steve Lee (Mission Designer)

http://twitter.com/essell2

Midway was fun while it lasted and I learnt a lot along the way. I’m mixing things up a little now, and on May 26th 2009 I start as a designer at Ruffian Games in Dundee.

Wish me luck!

50 Cent & Vin Diesel up a tree…

2009-03-13T13:37:00.000Z

Coming off the back of the lovely miss Jessica Chobot's IGN Strategize section on Xbox Live I felt inclined to share my initial impressions of the wonderful 2009 title, "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand". My hat is well and truly off to Swordfish Studios, for they have crafted a genuinely fun experience that isn't ashamed to call itself a game. Unfortunately it's quite ludicrous, obnoxious and somewhat repulsive to most at first glance, which will put a lot of people off - this being down to the 50 Cent license. Fact - I'm about as 'hip' and 'with it' as John Major so there are no biased views here. So, if like me you can look passed the fact this is a 50 Cent vehicle you will find a competent Gears of War 'clone' with lashings of Bizarre Creations', 'The Club' and a hint of Midway's somewhat under appreciated, 'Stranglehold'.

It's an honest game. The plot is fully aware of it's ridiculous existence and comes across as nothing more than tongue in cheek, sometimes resulting in genuinely funny moments. Could a rap act fighting terrorists in the middle east ever be seen as serious? It's just an amusing and palatable method of stringing together set pieces without getting in the way of game play.It's not pretending to be deep or compelling - it's just some light hearted, foul-mouthed fun featuring Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson and the members of G-Unit (no, I don't know what G-Unit is, but I'm sure they're behind the viral outbreak in Raccoon City).

It's no walk in the park though, the combo system (see: The Club) relies on Curtis executing as many terrorists in as short a time as possible to combo their deaths, but not only that, pull off as many cool moves and environmental deaths as possible, taunting all the while. This is where the game's depth lies. Money is collected from the numerous kills, item pick ups, and loot crates - this can then be used at various payphones placed in the world to purchase new weapons, CQC moves and taunts. The weapons aren't too dissimilar to those found in Gears of War and the CQC moves are simply strings of "B" button presses which when timed correctly will play a (rather nice) melee takedown sequence to execute the enemy - the real fun is found with the taunts. The taunts are simply verbal barks from our boy Curtis which when used in conjunction with a kill offer a cash reward. After the first 5 or 6 kills it becomes second nature. Think Gears of War's active reload - I think it's that good and that natural. Blind firing your hand cannon over the crumbling middle eastern walls whilst shouting one of the many colourful phrases included in the game is refreshing as much as it is amusing - it adds that extra level of interactivity with the play space, and the cash bonus reward makes it an essential part of advanced play within the game. Here's a list of inspirational quotes from Curtis courtesy of several clicks of the left stick:

Oh you fucked up now bitch
Game over pussy
I'm gon' fuck you up
Game over bitch
Hell yeah
You fuckin' with the best
It's over mother fucker

Wonderful. What's more is that the several unlockable 'phrase packs' are graded by their severity. It's juvenile but it's all in good fun.

Its not all rainbows and blow jobs though. As technically sound the game is and as beautiful it is to look at, there are some odd inconsistencies. The cash pick ups are cell shaded which looks a little odd in the otherwise photo realistic setting. The same goes for the rather strange Resident Evil esque pre rendered red blood cells in the backdrop of the 'You Died' screen, completely clashing with the tongue in cheek nature of it all. The animation is a little rough, popping regularly and missing details such as lip syncing - no, Curtis won't be mouthing bitch towards the screen when he is in cover. The co op man ladder and door sequences are also a little rough where the player must stand on (what I call) a G-Spot and hit "A" to perform an action. Whether this be the co op move or the door opening sequence it almost always results in the teleporting of Curtis - it just feels a little rough.

So the negatives are just me nitpicking because I don't want to come off sounding too positive (it's just not the done thing these days). If you like having fun, buy this game. If you can't look passed the presence of 50 Cent, then you don't deserve to have fun - go sit in the cellar and play with your fish head collection and may God have mercy on your soul.

On a lighter note, the Wheelman demo is now up on Xbox Live Marketplace and the Playstation Store. Please take the time to download it whether or not you currently intend to buy it - a lot of hard work went into it and many of my nights were spent at work finishing it off. Do it for the kids. It's completely new custom designed content for the demo; the first mission from Wheelman amalgamated with elements from later parts of the game and two new side missions (events).

Download the Xbox demo here.

...and for any stalkers out there some Midway Newcastle employees (including myself) will be demoing Wheelman in Game stores around Newcastle this weekend. Should be fun.

Keep it plastic.

Cinema lost it's balls

2009-02-17T13:37:00.000Z

Blood-soaked, profanity-doused and bare-chested are just a few of the double-barrelled words attributed to the late 80's/early 90's action genre; guns fired bullets that ripped through bodies spilling near-fluorescent blood, sex scenes existed and shown their good share of breast (art), and action heroes weren't teen pin ups - they were men.

What happened?

Cinema's collective balls fell off - that's what happened.

Carolco Pictures (the guys responsible for the Rambo series, Robocop, Terminator 2, etc.) came up with some stinkers which resulted in bankruptcy - this potentially put a couple of nails in the coffin of the action genre, but surely there was someone else out there ready to swing their giant balls and say "Yeah, I've got big balls and I'm going to make an action movie with an 18 certificate, and I don't fucking care because the right people are going to watch it". I'm the right people. I think I'm hard done by, and I want someone to get on this now. Where's The Running Man of '09? Where's the next Robocop?

Basically.

I want 2009's answer to Total Recall.

It's not too much to ask is it?

Left 4 Dead & The Official Noonan Top 7 of 2008 - sponsored by the Airjack, unofficial drink of Wheelman

2009-01-04T13:37:00.001Z

2008 has been and gone, which means we are another year closer to the future... if by definition the future is being able to state the year is "twenty-ten". Flying cars are surely just around the corner.

Number 7: Left 4 Dead

A new entry at 7.

We're in a forest.

Bert and Andrew run ahead, seemingly attached at the hip - it's a tactical relationship. Bert is crawling in the undergrowth wielding a shotgun, Andrew has his back with an Uzi resting over his shoulders. They're a two tier zombie killing unit. They appear unbreakable. I'm wandering in tow, a pistol in hand and a rifle at my side. I'm not sure what happened to CaLIGurlxx69. She left the group, stole some pain pills and ran into a horde. No loss.

Bert and Andrew run through the trees to a large barn. They waste no time in dispatching every undead creature along the way. They appear unbreakable. I follow cautiously behind feeling somewhat vulnerable relying on my sidearm as my primary form of self defence. We tentatively creep between the large barn doors and make our way inside - they check the corners for zeds, I grab a Molotov from the table and make my way to the roof. I've left them.

They shout up to me to follow as they take cover behind a cow carcass. I train my sights up ahead of them and tell them I know what I'm doing. I focus on the trees ahead and wait for the call of the horde. I don't have to wait long.

Bert runs to the trees. He thinks he can hear a Hunter. Andrew keeps to his position. They are broken. Bert isn't quick enough - he's on his back firing pistols into the woods. Andrew runs to help. Here comes the horde.

I make my shots count. One headshot. Two headshot. I'm on form. Three headshot. Miss. I hear a cough. I pull out my pistol and pirouette towards the origin of the sound - too late. I'm being pulled along the roof, each ounce of my life is being squeezed out of me by the Smoker's tongue. Then comes the croak of the Boomer - I'm shouting to Bert and Andrew. They have their own problems. The Boomer vomits on me. My problems just got worse. My own personal horde.

RIP Aneurexorcyst

There is no "I" in "team"

1985-2008

Peerless in it's execution, Left 4 Dead continues to deliver this level of drama after multiple plays, and the director keeps the gameplay varied. How long this varied gameplay will continue remains to be seen - if a level is hammered at a hard difficulty a lot of patterns begin to emerge...

However L4D (as the kids call it) offers an indistinguishable experience between PC and Xbox 360, something very few developers manage to do.

It's a first person shooter.

By Valve.

With Zombies.

Buy it.

...and once you leave your brick and mortar store with a copy of Left 4 Dead under your arm why not stop by your local cocktail bar and wet those lips on an Airjack?

Number 6: Sex

Down from 5 in 2007. Most likely due to the depleting frequency of said act throughout the duration of the year. However, some say that copulation is still in with a chance to take the number 5 slot in 2009.

And if you're down on your luck with the ladies, why not try downing an Airjack before you go out? It doesn't get much more rock n roll than drinking alone at home then hitting some bars in search of that tired hag who is desperate enough to indulge your seedy desires.

Number 5: "Last Caress" by "The Misfits"

This has kicked "Silly Thing" by "The Sex Pistols" the fuck off my iTunes top spot (YouTube).

When listening to horror punk, remember to drink responsibly. Drink an Airjack today.

Number 4: Italian Food

Thanks to Midway I've found (due to working late nights and eating takeaway) that I love Italian food.

Arrabiata FTW

Italian food is best accompanied by an Airjack, the unofficial drink of Wheelman.

Number 3: Twitter

I can now update people of the world of my bowel movements should they choose to follow me. It's amazing. Join up and follow me. You like the 20-30 others who follow me will know when I am taking a shit.

My twitter: http://twitter.com/SeanNoonan

An example of a twitter post:

SeanNoonan Sampling an Airjack! less than 5 seconds ago from web

Number 2: Working at Midway

I've talked about this before. So I won't go on, but Midway have given me the opportunity to fulfil my childhood dream.

Thanks, Midway.

Airjack.

Number 1: Wheelman

Wheelman, Wheelman, does whatever a Wheelman can…

2008-12-15T13:37:00.000Z

Just a quick one.

As we near the end of Wheelman’s development, the hype machine comes out in full force. Not only do we have a new website up and running but we’ve let the vipers into the nest to play the game – and it seems they like it. Almost every preview so far has been positive. I’m just waiting for the Oscar Wilde’s at Kotaku to comment.

Below is a random machinima where I played as a ‘mook’, back when I was a wee malchick in the Half-Life modding community. The game is Action Half-Life and you should all check it out.

I miss the old modding days somewhat…

This weekend I was mostly drinking, falling asleep and singing karaoke.

Next weekend I play games!

The dictionary.com definition of mook is rubbish!

I thought I was dreaming...

2008-12-09T13:37:00.000Z

Last night I had a dream. It's contents are by large a mystery to me. The following are the only events that I can recall.

Shopping with another person (I very rarely shop) where I bought some bread (I very rarely buy food) to store at my flat (my cupboards and fridge are empty) to make sandwiches for work (I never bring food to work)
I found a new way to listen to music (I don't remember what this was, but it made favourite but old and stale music sound new and exciting)
I walked to work (I hate when that happens, especially when I'm just about to wake up and have to do it again but for real)

The first point, the shopping element; I'm going to interpret this as my unconscious mind telling me to conform to an ordinary life style and improve my diet. Pretty simple and probably a change I need in my life before I shave any more years off my life living off take away's...

The second point and most interesting to me is rather peculiar. Why? Because this has become a reality. For the first time today I played my top 5 most played songs in my music library:

The Misfits - Last Caress (YouTube)
Muse – Starlight (YouTube)
Muse - In Your World (YouTube)
Radiohead - Exit Music (For A Film) (YouTube)
Echo and the Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (YouTube)

The above songs sound as though they have been rerecorded - vocals especially.

I have no idea why everything sounds new to me.

This is weird.

I don't understand it.

I'm going to bed.

...where I'm not going to carry on where my dream left off - I'm not walking to work twice in one day. I refuse. I'm going to dream about sex instead.

I've got Worms

2008-12-02T13:37:00.000Z

No, not the substandard snakes that crawl in and out of a person's anal cavity for air every night - I of course refer to the Team 17 classic, "Worms" (the Xbox Live Arcade title to be exact, which just so happens to be called "Worms").

I am reminded of a certain Pogues song

The title recently came down to 400 Microsoft Space Dollar Pounds - which given the current economic climate equates to two cows and a sheep. The reduction in the title's price could potentially reflect the quality of the game, but who am I to argue with a bargain?

It didn't start well.

I launched the game from the lovely new Xbox 360 dashboard followed by a hammering of the A button in anticipation for the thousands of potential logo screens that seem to plague games these days - only to find a simple title screen "Worms" by "Team 17".

Okay, that's somewhat refreshing.

As a side, it does seem every party who have molested a game or port in some way has to have their own 'screen' before a game loads up - this is a bad trend, please stop it. I'm here to play the game with whatever hardware I have, I don't want to know if it's in HD - especially if I'm one of the poor souls from the stone age who still has a 14 inch CRT telebox that requires a little tap to switch it on.

Anyway... the title screen passed - onto the somewhat basic and slightly ugly menu. Simple, functional, but may as well be using Comic Sans.

However the main problem is not the visuals - it's the sound. What is that fucking sound? I'm scared, there's something menacing and foreboding.

The soundtrack from Nosferatu?

The sound of an air raid?

No, it's the main menu 'theme'.

What happened to the music from the days of old? Perhaps I've missed the boat on the last few incarnations, but surely this would be a good time to stroke the nostalgia and perhaps reel in the Amiga fans who likely pissed away hours - no, days of their lives naming all of their little worm teams and members when they should have been out talking to girls (or at chess club).

I present to you, the faultless Worms theme song.

So I've not mentioned the game yet. Well it's your standard Worms format... just severely more limited than with previous incarnations.

Weapon customisation is gone - that's no tweaking of which weapons players start with, when they can be used, which weapons will become available, how many they can have, etc.

We're talking bare bones, 22 weapons in all and nothing to unlock - many of which are simply advanced versions of other weapons (see the cluster bomb/banana bomb comparisons).

This is something I noticed right off the bat after starting a quick single player game (once I'd created the 'Noonan Empire' team, of course). Firstly the fun music has been replaced with a characterless military dirge, then the staple of the franchise (it's wacky weapons) have been castrated.

That said, the weapons that are there seem pretty balanced against each other and most fan favourites are in place, but the the absent weapons from the franchise (hello holy grenade) leave a gaping hole that isn't filled up by advancements in gameplay, because there are none. The series hasn't advanced beyond Worms 2, and it didn't have to - but this doesn't excuse the lack of content in the XBLA version. This feels lazy and soulless.

Offline there's enough to keep you interested whilst your porn downloads. There's the 'training' mode, which is little more than text prompts overlaying simple gameplay instructions that must be executed to progress (which doesn't really help new players in any way, shape or form) and the single player 'challenges', which are matches against AI where the odds are stacked against you as multiple teams are allied and share you as a common enemy (which gets difficult as quick as it gets boring).

Online is clearly where this game excels and unfortunately I've been slaughtered on every occasion. The limited weapon selection does make for some tense moments during 4 player matches, but the fun and often hilarious experience of it's forefathers has been lost in SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS tournament style play. No thanks.

It's not all bad though, I'm probably going to have 200/200 gamerscore out of it by the end of the week and it was a good time waster between bouts of cleaning lychee off my walls. Swings and roundabouts, eh?

I'm going to go to bed to dream of the good old days, back when Worms had awesome music and I could unleash grannies upon my enemies. So Mark, you were right.

I actually cannot believe this just happened

2008-11-29T13:37:00.000Z

This is an odd one.

I feel this is an attack based purely on revenge and spite courtesy of the dark forces of my flat.

I am deadly serious.

At 07:00 this morn I was startled awake by a meaty thwack. No, a gay biker did not break into my room and lay his man sausage upon my cranium - but one of the following possibilities (each based on the sound which woke me from my slumber).

An undisclosed individual broke into my room and bludgeoned me to near death
I have been living insane in a world of mine own for the last two weeks, sat upright in my bed with a pistol held between my lips and finally pulled the trigger
A snow ball was thrown at my window
The tooth fairy came in the night and gave me a blow job for not losing any teeth this year (resulting in the lining of her throat with one of my quite famous wads of man cream)
A bottle of discarded lychee and mango drink that was lay on the floor at the base of me bed exploded in an upward fountain of fruit matter. Thus coating my sleeping body, the walls, the ceiling, my hair, my small Newcastle exclusive CD, DvD and game collection, the clothes on my radiator and a large patch of my now debatably ruined carpet.

Can you guess what it is yet?

Yes, not only did the mysterious dark forces of my flat strike again, but this time in comic style by bringing in my liquid based nemesis into play - the lychee juice!

I'm still a little taken back by what has actually happened. Hopefully this incident hasn't cost me my deposit…

If you're still wondering, it was the final option – the fourth option happened last night…

I don't know where to start.

I better get cleaning the carpet and the walls and the ceiling and my clothes...

Fuck you dark forces.

Fuck you lychees.

Fuck you life.

The second option

Pictures of the mess: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Maybe the dark forces will deem it fit to transform me into an onion tomorrow (onion being my food based nemesis to those not following the life of Noonan).

Life and Crazy

2008-11-28T13:37:00.000Z

I'm fed up with this flat. I'm fed up with this situation.

Honestly.

I don't know how much longer I can allow myself to scuttle around a box room like some creature not too dissimilar to something found in an early Terry Pratchett novel. I don't feel comfortable between the four walls of my small somewhat run down flat in Gateshead.

Don't get me wrong - it could be worse, a lot worse, but I was brought up on Disney movies and thus believe that I will one day ~~bed~~ wed a supermodel and become a millionaire.

I digress.

I finished work at 18:30 today which is smack bang (crash wallop) on time (for the clock watchers out there) leaving me an opening to read up on conjoined twins following a conversation at work about said subject.

Alas, the wretched dark forces of my flat (see right) sucked dry any interest or motivation the minute my foot crossed the doorway.

I can't work out what exactly it is about my current abode that kills any desire to perform anything of any worth but I'm going to blame it on dark forces until someone suggests anything different.

I miss being able to keep food where I live
I miss being able to cook that food
I miss having people around to cook for
I miss having a space to set up my sound system
I miss my badass surround sound system
I miss walking to the bathroom whilst mostly naked
I miss having a good Internet connection
I miss being able to exercise in a large room
I miss hearing the sound of a female orgasm

Within that list two items stand proud; not being able to walk to the bathroom semi naked and the lack of a good Internet connection. These two situations are exacerbated by having other patrons of the flat. These may disapprove of the (potential) sight of my phallus swinging from the front flap of my boxer shorts, or they may indeed waste the Internet connection downloading inane melodies or streaming key moments of the prior weeks Eastenders episodes (the girl seen to the left is probably in Eastenders).

Ergo the real reason is the fact that there are others in the flat with me and I am unable to share a living space with others - I'm just not built like that. Morrissey was right. Rant over - I need to move out.

...you didn't think there was such thing as the female orgasm did you?

Twas Horrorshow

2008-10-18T13:37:00.004+01:00

I was browsing a forum on the intertubes the other day and found this little subject.

This is a topic very close to my heart - the excellent, but flawed survival horror genre. Don't get me wrong, I love the genre with every ounce of my being, but I find it doesn't work... I've yet to actually feel scared. Certainly not scared to the point that I won't play a game of the genre any longer than the point in which a 'scare' is presented.

I envy those in that situation and if you're one of those people I envy you.

I'm jealous of the personal level of immersion that you get when witnessing the same horrors and experiences I too am exposed to.

I'm jealous that you feel playing the game unaccompanied acts as is it's own hurdle other than the challenge of the game itself.

Conversely I am a sucker for 'cheap scares' resulting in my 'jumping', which is a testament to my love of the genre - I get so immersed in the game that whenever I'm in a quiet section with a following 'cheap scare' I'll be scared to buggery.

The problem is that it's cheap, low effort and not as sophisticated at digging into whatever fears I may have - it's more a shock. The same feeling can be achieved visually when walking with an ipod (or other branded portable music contraption) and stumbling blindly around a corner into an old lady only to 'jump'. The content of the scare is irrelevant it's just a shock to the senses – the video game equivalent of this can be found in Resident Evil whereby zombie dogs will jump through the mansion windows.

The problem is that this fear isn't deep enough. Used once. Like a condom. :(

However I have witnessed potential deep fear in the Silent Hill series (no laboured sexual metaphors here). Fear which can not only be used multiple times in different ways, but can linger in the player's mind post the game experience. I understand it, appreciate it, but still it doesn't get to me.

My problem is that I'm desensitised - it's not always been the case, but back when I was 8 years old and too scared to watch Bram Stoker's Dracula, computer games weren't addressing this genre en masse. Now I'm older and fearless the only way I'm able to experience fear is through fearing the death of my character and thus a lack of progress in the game and the potential that I will have to replay a portion of the game.

There's a youth in the street forcing vomit from his oesophagus.

Where was I?

Yes, the survival part of survival horror - this I believe games touch on but don't really use.

Almost every game relies on survival as a means to challenge the player - which is fine, especially in horror games. The problem is with empowerment. Games empower the player far too soon, Resident Evil 4 is guilty of this.

The feeling I got whilst playing this [Resident Evil 4] was about enough to make me feel the fear of my acts of desperation not perhaps being good enough to stop my Spanish attackers...

Unfortunately this sandbox game play was short lived and soon replaced with generic linear action and heavy player empowerment, thus removing the desperate fear based survival element and replacing it with standard computer game survival.

I've lost where I was going with this.

Somebody is still vomiting in the street - I might get out of bed to close the window if I hear another strained yelp.

Basically I love the genre. I just don't think it's ready yet. When I hit 13 and became invincible to as many horrors that films could throw at me, games started to bowl a couple of scare balls my way which have yet to phase me. The Internet made it's way into my home and with it images of true horror and other unpleasantness.

I'm waiting for the film or game that gets under my skin.

It will happen one day.

I'm sure of it.

I'll leave you with the only scene in film history that's made me feel uneasy.

I am but a man... a Wheelman!

2008-10-13T13:37:00.001+01:00

Yet again it has been a while - nobody told me a job in the games industry would mean there would be no time for fun and bloggery but ‘nay bother’ - at least I’m happy.

I’ve settled nicely into my position at Midway and am finding the people surrounding me to be great in and out of work, which is great because I feel as though I live in the studio more than I do my apartment. Truth be told my flat is purely a place for me to sleep and shower, I don’t even eat there – and for those counting, I’ve eaten in my flat a total of 16 times in 12 months. I am planning at some stage (depending on my situation after shipping Wheelman) to move to a much more ponce friendly area on my own, without anyone to answer to. My current flat mates are great – anything beats the psycho stripper I liaised with a few months back... but anyway... they aren’t the problem, I just feel I need my own space and even fewer responsibilities than I have right now.

Fewer responsibilities mean more focus on work – I stepped back recently and looked at the number of hours I have been putting into Wheelman. On one side I’m shocked; on the other I’m pleased.

Shocked because working half an hour’s overtime wasn’t in my vocabulary a year ago, let alone twice my core hours… and pleased because I’m doing what I want to do without rebelling against a schedule not too distant from that of Kunta Kentai’s.

There have been a lot of good previews and responses to Wheelman at various events such as E3, Midway Gamer's Day, etc. I’m pretty happy about that – hope the reviews keep a similar tone…

Last minute note alert! Consolevania has started once more, and this time they're going all Web 2.0. Check the following video for details...

And as a final note, I have started a twitter!

The Return!

2007-11-09T13:37:00.001Z

It's been some time since I've written one of these blog entries, and it's since moving to Newcastle/Gateshead that I have been inclined to keep some form of a blog once more. Clearly the reason for any previous attempts at this were to offer insight in my now dormant project, 'The Opera'. So you'd think that any future entries would be about my next project..? It would be nice if it were true, however I am unable to disclose any information on said project in fear of a thorough sacking.

Yes, I work at Midway now - a company currently enjoying the release of their most recent title, 'Stranglehold'.

I trust anyone reading this is perceptive enough to realise that 'Stranglehold' is a very similar project to 'The Opera', if the latter was crossed with 'Max Payne'. I am proud to work for a company that makes money from themes and ideas that I am passionate about.

I, however am working on Wheelman, an open world third person/driving action game. It's got a huge selling point through it's link to Vin Diesel (through Tigon Studios) and potentially a feature film in the works.

I'm enjoying working on the project and wouldn't change this career move for anything in the world... except maybe having a chance to work on Stranglehold 2 with a significant amount of creative input (read: create The Opera). One can dream…

Those great scots over at Consolevania have been given another series by the BBC (love you) and have in turn created a website of webisodes, which can be found here.